Just Desserts and Other Goodies

I came from a wake and was totally offended that the whole affair was catered, down to the Starbucks barista. Isn’t this in bad taste?

 

What's more offensive is if the food tasted bad. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

But seriously, catered wakes are commonplace these days and here’s why.

More often than not, the days leading to your loved one’s death and after, have caused you sleep deprivation from a few hours to a few days. Preparing good food yourself will be the last thing in your mind once you actually get to the funeral arrangements. That’s why you need to hire the professionals.

After the requisite Zesto-and-Goldilock’s first night when nobody has enough time or energy to put whip up a decent meal, your family and guests will appreciate your efforts in putting together something palatable. Even if you hired the pros.

Wakes these days, rather than the dreadful miserable affairs they used to be, have now become reunions of sorts for families, long lost friends, and even total strangers. And nobody likes bad food in a reunion, do they? Rather than merely mourning one’s death, the event has been elevated to a celebration of one’s life. And what is a celebration without good food?

So must one have food catered for a wake or funeral? Yes, but only when one’s budget allows it, or when someone volunteers to cover the cost as a gift. Is one obliged to feed one’s guests? No. The polite rule is something clean to drink and something to munch on. Candy and peanuts are perfectly fine and sufficient. (You may keep the full meals in the family room, reserved for precisely, family.)

There are also those who are still superstitious and choose not to eat during a wake and postpone the act once they are off the premises, so don’t be offended if your guests choose not to touch anything you serve.

And there are those who will not take a single thing but will readily take a piece of candy offered. They do this to “sweeten” what they consider a “bitter” event.

When the deceased enjoyed food in life, whether serving it, or consuming it, if you feel it is appropriate, then by all means, celebrate their life with the food they loved. I’ve attended hundreds of wakes where one’s favorite dish or recipe is proudly served and it was truly a delight to one’s palate. You can be sure, your loved one will not be easily forgotten because of this.

Just a little note on the common superstition that you mustn’t cook in your house where someone is lying in state. This most probably arose for quite practical reason. Human remains are not the cleanest things to have around the house as not only decomposition has started, there may be residual disease and infection in one’s body. Preparing food in such an environment is not the most hygienic situation.

And Starbucks? I’ve seen these given as gifts. Surely, the family will never forget this very thoughtful, practical, and delicious kindness from you. Sure beats a large flower arrangement that will wilt, or the thoughtful but more common stack of mass cards.

On the the other hand, I came from a wake and overheard one of the guests remark, "No Starbucks? What? No Starbucks?" Now, THAT, was tacky.

 

 

 

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